There are, I’m sure, some lucky people in this world who can fall asleep in pretty much any environment. I am not one of those people. I need the perfect conditions: zero light, the hum of a white noise machine, a temperature that is cold enough for blankets but not warm enough to feel like you’re suffocating, comfortable pajamas that don’t ride up your legs, a mattress that feels like a cloud, and, maybe most importantly, the right pillow.

A little over a year ago, I left my favorite pillow at my parents’ house, and my mother accidentally got rid of it (will I ever forgive her? Good question). This began my search for the perfect pillow. I was looking for something very specific: it couldn’t be too firm, because that is painful, but it also couldn’t be too mushy and soft, because I hate feeling like I’m sleeping on nothing. I wanted something squishy but not too fluffy, something firm that would keep me propped up, but only a little propped up, you know? To be honest, I didn’t really know what I wanted.

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Over the course of a few months, I tried all different kinds of pillows. My head felt like it sank into memory foam pillows in an awkward way. I tried a thin, medium-firm pillow that felt like I was sleeping on nothing. I was given a Casper pillow, and I thought for sure that would be my favorite - but alas, it was just too fluffy for me. I felt ready to give up, but then, I got my hands on the Leesa Hybrid Pillow, and at the risk of being dramatic, everything suddenly felt right in the world.

The Leesa Hybrid Pillow is quite fancy, unlike any other pillow I’ve ever used. As its name suggests, you can tailor it to your liking, which I greatly appreciated as an extremely picky control freak.

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When you first feel the Leesa pillow, it feels really sturdy and surprisingly heavy, which might seem less than ideal. That’s mainly because there’s a pillow inset that sits in between the quilted pocket and cool layers of the pillow. When I slept with the pillow with the insert inside, I wasn’t a big fan. It felt too big, and after a few nights, my neck hurt from how high up my head was sitting. I removed the pillow insert, and it was immediately like sleeping on a new, much more comfortable pillow. Obviously, some people will prefer it with the insert, but that’s the beauty; you get to choose.

The other cool thing about this pillow is that it has two different sides: one is a fabric that is literally cool to the touch, made with “chilling fibers.” The other side is also cool, but it’s smoother. And my favorite thing about it? It doesn’t clump up, which is what I hate about most other down pillows - I can’t stand when one part sinks in, while the other part gets all lumpy. The Leesa pillow is made with quilted pockets like your favorite down jacket, which help the pillow maintain its shape and act as support.

At $135 for a queen size, the Leesa Hybrid is not a cheap pillow, though it does include a 100 night trial with free returns. But if you’re very particular about your sleep environment and you’re looking for a pillow that is going to last you a long time, is customizable, and feels incredibly comfortable, I can’t recommend this one enough; it truly was a game changer for me.