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So, you and your partner have oh-so-casually chatted about using a sex toy together, and now, with Valentine’s Day looming, you’re ready to take the leap. Exciting! But also...well, maybe you’re not quite sure where to start?

Totally hear you. It’s 2020, and while it’s great that our sex toy references have finally expanded beyond “that rabbit-thing I saw once on Sex & the City”, the problem has now boomeranged. Options are as robust as a grocery store’s cereal aisle, making it feel nearly impossible to know which to try first.


Deep breaths. We’ve done our research (we’re nothing if not thorough) so that you can sit back, scroll the interwebs, and “add to cart” your way to sexual pleasure.

And yes, I know. Usually, you’ll find more, uhh, externally-focused #SGapproved goods here — henleys to help guys live out their burliest Brawny Man fantasies and such. But we know other stuff too! And looking good doesn’t matter much if you aren’t having any fun when the clothes come off. It’s 2020, my guy; it’s not cool to be freaked out by introducing a sex toy in the bedroom.

Dame Products CEO, Alexandra Fine says, “It’s all about finding something safe for your body that will allow you to explore your sexual self. What type of experience do you want this tool to help you unlock?”

Are you seeking something that offers clitoral stimulation? Something to hit the G-spot? The anus? Talk with your partner about what you both like or want to try. It’ll help you narrow down your options.

Then, filter your choices down to products that are simple to use. Yes, that’s right. In the words of Dwight Schrute (who I never thought I’d discuss in the context of sex toys, but…here we are) and Bill Clinton (which, well, that tracks): KISS. Keep it simple, stupid. There is objectively nothing less fun than fiddling with 400 buttons in the bedroom when you’re both hot to trot.


And we’re off...

Arc by Dame Products

Arc by Dame Products, $115
Photo: Dame

This brand-new sex toy from Dame Products is ideal for first-time users. Not only is it incredibly well made by the team of engineers over at the Dame offices, it also gives you plenty to work with. No single pleasure option works for everyone, so Arc caters to those differences by allowing people with vulvas to explore both external and internal stimulation. As such, it’s a super useful product for those still figuring out what they like (or for those who like it all!).

Poco by MysteryVibe

Poco by MysteryVibe, $70
Photo: MysteryVibe

Another newbie to the sex toy scene, Poco is a mini (read: smaller, and also more affordable) version of the brand’s well-reviewed inaugural product, Crescendo.

This caterpillar-esque toy is hyper flexible, bending at multiple joints throughout the toy, which allows for G-spot, clitoris, and perineum play. That’s right. We’ve got front and back options here. Dreams do come true. And this baby is on pre-order until March for a discounted price before it jumps up to $89.99. So y’know, don’t wait! Act today.


WOMANIZER Classic, $129
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

Yes, yes, I know. This name. Sigh. I promise this product makes up in performance what it lacks in modern branding.

Before purchasing, you’ll want to make sure your partner 1. has a clitoris and 2. enjoys clitoral stimulation.

Good? Good.

How can such an odd looking toy be so satisfying? The secret lies in the unique Pleasure Air technology that sends gentle suction and massaging air waves to the clitoris. This bad boy also comes with eight intensity levels, so you can really play around with what feels good. It’s incredibly easy to use, intuitive, and works like a charm.


Anal Training Kit and Education Set by b-Vibe

Anal Training Kit and Education Set by b-Vibe, $150
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

Alright. I know we touched upon the backside above, but let’s go a bit...deeper (please, please forgive me).


Anal play can be immensely rewarding, but it requires some prep work. That’s why the Anal Training Kit from b-Vibe — the industry’s preeminent anal experts — is perfect for those looking to explore ~backcountry~.

Even better? Butt plugs work for people with any kind of genitalia, so nobody will feel left out! The kit comes with a small silicone butt plug, a medium vibrating plug, and a large weighted butt plug (not to mention a guide to anal play, lube, a to-go back and — yes folks — an enema. Because bodies are bodies).

Helix Syn Trident

Helix Syn Trident, $70
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

Alright, this one’s for my friends out there with prostates. You know how Joey was the most underrated N*Sync member? That’s how Helix feels about hyping the prostate. The prostate is the Joey Fatone of pleasure zones.

The Syn Trident is an updated version of the world’s first hands-free prostate massager. It’s carefully balanced to move fluidly with the body and can be “activated,” so to speak, completely hands-free. Aneros provides really useful instructions and diagrams on their site, making this a great choice for beginners looking to explore something new (believe me, there’s nothing worse than frantically Googling “how do I use this sex toy?!” in your moment of need).

Pro tip: use lube! And then use some more.


Palma by Unbound

Palma by Unbound, $128
Photo: Unbound

Let’s wrap things up here with something a lil’ different from Unbound — the playful, super approachable sexual wellness brand focused on selling affordable and easy-to-use options that are particularly good for those just starting off. Their wildly popular vibrating ring (yes, I said RING, like one you put on your finger) is a cool option if you’re looking to dabble in the world of sex toys but want something subtle and subversive. Palma not only comes with three speeds, but has two modes that let you control the vibration variation with your hand movements (!!) Pretty dang cool.


Beyond that, it’s waterproof, made with surgical grade stainless steel and is available in four sizes in either silver and electroplated.


Megan Collins started Style Girlfriend to help guys look and feel their best. Today, she and her team share tips, tricks, and shortcuts to a closet that inspires confidence.

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