Spending too much time alone does weird things to the brain, right? I mean, we’ve all seen “Cast Away” so we know how these things go. Which is the only explanation I have for why I found myself awake at 3 in the morning, howling with laughter at this idea I came up with: Find every existing sheet mask for very specific body parts, buy them all, put them on at once and, like, turn myself into the vainest Scooby Doo monster imaginable.
Now, I’m not saying anyone should actually do this but the thing is, sheet masks for very specific body parts exist in this world and I’ve done the work of rounding them all up for you so … you know what to do, is what I’m saying here.
Let’s start at the top and work our way down.
Weirdly, I couldn’t find sheet masks designed for bald heads—but sheet masks for hair are out there. Strange!
Stock up on these to tide you over until the botox joints reopen.
These are the best of all the sheet masks, fight me.
For the cheeks on your face! (We’ll get to the other cheeks in just a sec.)
These are almost always blackhead-removing type masks but as long as we’re playing this game, we have to include them.
Pucker up, gorgeous!
Of all the masks, these are the absolute dorkiest looking ones, right? Right.
Or, as I deeply prefer to call them because it sounds so saucy: Décolletage masks.
I can’t stop shouting “TITTIE MASKS” at all my friends (via, like, texts and Zoom) and I’m pretty sure when I’m allowed to see my friends again, my friends will NOT want to see me again.
Thanks, I hate it.
THANKS, I HATE IT. (But I’m also totally intrigued.)
The world of butt care is honestly fascinating.
I have some questions about the application process … like, do you have to hang out with your arms over your head while this thing marinates on your pits?
Free product idea: Big sheets of sheet mask that people can cut to fit their assorted parts.
You’re still washing your hands like crazy, yes? Good! So maybe treat your paws to some much needed extra moisture?
Beware that most foot masks are the ones that make you molt like a snake. Just … be ready for that, okay?
Just because :)