Crocs Unisex-Adult Classic Clogs | $35 | Amazon
Do you not have a pair of Crocs? What are you doing? Why have you waited so long? They are lightweight, come in a variety of colors for any style, and simply iconic. Crocs haven’t changed a damn thing in the 20 years since they first surfaced. They are the horseshoe crab of people shoes. They are perfect in every way. So perfect that they ceased to continue evolving into anything else over 445 million years. Their form is absolute. Nothing more, nothing less. Luckily you can get a pair right now for just $35. That $35 is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Eons from now when jobs and money and humanity are forgotten things of the past, there will still be Crocs. Crocs and horseshoe crabs will inherit the earth.