6" Sonic Ultimate Action Figure | $46 | Amazon
It is a new day at The Inventory. Wario, our site’s plucky mascot, is gone. After a year of leading the ship with his love of deals, he is no longer here to guide us through the waters of commerce. That’s because he was devoured by Sonic the Hedgehog. We have not been given time to grieve, because now Sonic demands that we bow to him. He now runs the website and we can’t do anything about it. We are all prisoners to the fast hog. We have been told we must worship at the alter of Sonic and you must now too, dear readers. Here is a 6" statue of our new God for $46. It is a faithful representation of his ageless might. O, conqueror of Warios, have mercy on our website. We beg of thee.