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Would You Put These Bizarre Funko Pops on Your Shelf?

Illustration for article titled Would You Put These Bizarre Funko Pops on Your Shelf?
Graphic: Gabe Carey, Giovanni Colantonio

Top Pick: Mr. Monopoly in Jail | $11 | Amazon

As someone who doesn’t pay any attention to Funko Pops, I’m always a little concerned by the staggering amount of products the company has. The seemingly infinite line of collectibles spans multiple decades of media, turning some of our favorite nerd properties into plastic figures with oversized heads. Anytime I think I’ve seen everything Funko has to offer, I bump into an entire wall of figures I’ve never seen before. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even recognize where half of the characters come from, which strikes fear into my heart.

At first, I couldn’t really understand how many properties Funko could really represent. There’s a ton of nerdy media out there, but it’s pretty easy to get a handle on the high-level ones. You know all the big franchises, comic books, games, and so on. You can easily guess that there are Mandalorian or Stranger Things Funko Pops. Of course, there are Rick and Morty Funko Pops. Why wouldn’t there be? But how does Funko manage to keep churning figures out, even when there’s only a limited amount of mega-popular new nerdy franchises every year?

The answer is much more of a stretch than I initially realized. When I popped over to Funko’s website and loaded up its entire catalog, I quickly realized the collection is full of bizarre statues it’s hard to imagine anyone buying. Things only get weirder and weirder as you scroll down the list, beyond your Marvel heroes or Disney princesses.

To save you some time and precious mental energy, here are five of the weirdest ones I discovered during my unforgettable odyssey.

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Mr. Monopoly in Jail

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Image: Amazon

If you’re a diehard Monopoly fan, you can grab a Mr. Monopoly Funko Pop. That part isn’t terribly weird, though it’s genuinely impossible to imagine that there are huge Monopoly heads out there who will collect anything that has to do with the board game. What’s way more bizarre is Funko’s other Monopoly figure, Mr. Monopoly in Jail. This incredibly specific collectible features the iconic millionaire in black and white prison attire, and I support that. Honestly, why stop there? I want to see Mr. Monopoly At The Beach! Mr. Monopoly Drinking Tea! Mr. Monopoly In The Guillotine! Let me see this entire man’s life play out, start to finish, in environmentally detrimental vinyl plastic.

Will & Grace

Illustration for article titled Would You Put These Bizarre Funko Pops on Your Shelf?
Image: Giovanni Colantonio
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There are Will & Grace Funko Pops. Just kind of let that sink in for a second. I’m genuinely baffled by how these came to be. Were there not enough nerdy TV shows out to fill Funko’s quote for the year? Did they just not want to make more Rick & Morty Pops? Did someone do a cost/benefit analysis that revealed that it’d be more profitable to do Will & Grace Funkos instead of characters from Agents of SHIELD? None of this is a knock against Will & Grace. It’s a perfectly fine TV show that many people hold dearly. I just want to be a fly on the wall during the meeting where this idea was conceived, because I need to know how someone pitched it with a straight face.

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Dancing Richard Simmons

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Image: Amazon

Cursed. Just cursed. A regular Richard Simmons Funko Pop apparently wasn’t enough. Funko must have seen a huge market for the fitness icon and said “we will make a billion dollars if we also make a Dancing Richard Simmons variant.” Looking at a lot of these figures, I’m often left feeling like Funko must know something I don’t. It’s like when everyone just suddenly starts buying a random stock out of nowhere. Or at least I assume it’s like that. I don’t know how the stock market works, man. Either way, I guess you can buy a Dancing Richard Simmons Funko Pop.

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Jackie Kennedy

Illustration for article titled Would You Put These Bizarre Funko Pops on Your Shelf?
Image: Giovanni Colantonio
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Here is a Funko Pop of a real woman who watched her husband get shot in the head and die next to her in a car. Classic Funko!

Morrissey

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Image: Amazon
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There are tons of bizarre music-related Funko Pops, from Shania Twain to the entirety of Duran Duran. But I’m obsessed with the Morrissey Funko Pop for so many reasons. On a fundamental level, who is this possibly for? Who is listening to the depressed British man sing “Everyday is Like Sunday” and thinking “I would like to put his giant cartoon head on my shelf”?

Beyond that, I can’t stop thinking about if Morrissey will inadvertently get Funko canceled. The singer is a deeply controversial figure who’s one bad quote away from getting yeeted off the Earth entirely. He is a liability for Funko and there’s no way the whole thing doesn’t end with the Pop getting pulled from stores after a particularly damning interview and Funko issuing a vague apology and a commitment to better vetting the figures it chooses to represent.

I truly can’t wait.

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