Wait Until the Last Minute To Buy Christmas Gifts? Shame on You, Alright Here Are Your Options

We picked out 30 gifts so you don't have to think about it too much.

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Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.
Graphic: Wes Davis

I can’t believe you’re comin’ at me with this again. Christmas Day is on Saturday, and you’re coming to me asking for gift ideas? Didn’t we just do this with some Christmas trees or whatever? Well, I told you I’d never leave you in your darkest hour, so let’s take a gander at some of your options. I got three categories here for you: stuff that’s $50 or less, stuff you ain’t gotta ship, and stuff I think you should buy if you got the cash and you trust ol’ Uncle Wes wouldn’t steer you wrong.

First, on the cheap stuff, if they like video games, just get ‘em a gift card for their favorite system: Xbox, PlayStation, or Switch. Don’t try to get cute and buy them a game, either; they know what they want, and you don’t know what they have, so leave the choices to them. Or maybe they like exercising, okay, get ‘em a kettlebell. It’s one of the most versatile pieces of fitness gear known to man and everyone wants one or wants another one. Or hey, maybe you know someone that can’t keep their phone charged—just give them this Anker power bank. It’s got not one, not two, but 10,000 mAhs in it, and it has wireless charging in case they lose the cable!

Okay, next, it’s fair to say shipping has gotten a little loosey-goosey these days, and if you don’t wanna take chances but still want someone to know you care, StackSocial has a whole section of gifts you ain’t gotta ship, such as online game development courses, cheap software bundles for Mac OS, even genealogy research software, and none of it has a tracking number. You just buy it, put in their e-mail address after you buy it (they’ll send you a link to do this), and boom: instant gift. And listen, you didn’t hear this from me, but these folks are off their rocker. They sell things like lifetime VPN subscriptions or hundreds of hours of professional development courses for double-digit prices. I don’t understand how they make money and I don’t want to understand, because I don’t like when the void stares back, if you follow me.

And last but certainly not least, I put in a section of stuff I like. It ain’t the cheapest stuff in this article, but if you really wanna go hard on pleasing those whose smiles cook your guts, you might take a look at the third section. I’m talking stuff like really great OLED TVs such as the 55” LG C1, which has deep blacks and a variable refresh rate up to 120Hz for your gamer pals. I’m talkin’ this Orolay Women’s Fleece Lined Parka, which’ll keep your special lady or your dear friend Martha cozy when the iceman cometh. Or you could make a relative lose their mind with this mid-sized, 58" air hockey table or a vintage-style, instant film Fujifilm Instax Mini 40 Camera. And if you’re trying to hook someone up with a great laptop, look no further than the M1 MacBook Air, which is one of the fastest computers you can buy for $1,000. You might also consider this Wario plushie, so you can find in the King of Capitalism the same profound joy we have.

There’s even more stuff in the list below, so if I didn’t cover something you think you could buy for somebody in your life, scroll down and take a look.

Stuff That’s $50 or Less:

Xbox Gift Card: $10-$50 Best Buy
PlayStation Store Gift Card: $10-$50
Nintendo Switch Gift Card: $10-50
Anker Wireless Power Bank 10,000 mAh: $36
15lb Kettlebell: $26
GoFit Gravity Straps: $40
Men’s Long Sleeve Thermal Undershirt: $22
Allett Slim RFID Blocking Wallet: $44
Black-Owned or Founded Beauty Sample Box Gift Set: $15
Glow So Bright Beauty Sample Box Gift Set: $15

Stuff You Ain’t Gotta Ship:

iBrave Cloud Web Hosting: Lifetime Subscription: $50 
Game Development Course Bundle: $40
Full Stack Web Development Course Bundle: $23
Ancestral Quest Geneology Research Software: $20
The ‘Choice of Games’ Interactive Story Bundle: $20
Lifetime Password Manager & VPN: $30
Unlimited Lifetime Learning Subscription ft. Rosetta Stone: $179
Excel Data Analyst Certification School: Lifetime Subscription: $49
Complete SEO Checklist Bundle: $49
Complete Limited Edition Mac Bundle: $30

Stuff You Should Buy if You Got the Cash and Trust Ol’ Uncle Wes

Best Choice 58" Mid-Size Air Hockey Table: $145
Apple Watch Series 7: $350
LG 55” Class C1 OLED 4K TV: $1,300
Hisense 55” Class U6G Quantum ULED 4K TV: $450
Orolay Women’s Fleece Lined Parka: $150
An Actual Xbox (Series S): $300
Wario Plushie: $25
Fujifilm Instax Mini 40 Camera: $90
Crosley Cruiser Vinyl Bluetooth Turntable: $70
M1 Macbook Air: $900