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As our period of social distancing and quarantine isolation drags on, we’ll be bringing you a series of sex toy reviews to help you make the best buying decisions to keep your solo sex life buzzing along, or to spice things up for couples (or thruples or etc, etc, etc.) who may be experiencing some boredom in the bedroom. On deck today is the Satisfyer Pro 2 from Bellesa.
This review was originally scheduled for last month but had to be held because the Satisfyer Pro 2, a clitoral stimulator that’s designed to mimic the experience of having oral sex performed on you, kept selling out.
After using it, I understand why.
The Satisfyer Pro 2 is an oral sex simulator; it’s only intended for external use, so if you’re a person who knows you want penetration or G-spot stimulation, this won’t be the toy for you. But if you love having oral sex performed on you and/or you prefer to orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone, you will love-love-love the Satisfyer Pro 2.
Here are some specs: The handle is made of metal and the head is made of silicone. It has 11 “pressure wave” modes, which are controlled by easy-to-use buttons that are positioned in the center of the handle—if you’ve been following these reviews, you’ll know that I’ve flagged usability issues in a bunch of the vibrators I’ve tried out, which I mention because people who haven’t seen our previous coverage are probably like, “Is that a big problem with sex toys? Not being able to turn them on and off?” I know it seems crazy but literally yes, being able to turn them on and off has been an issue with a lot of vibrators! But not this one, it’s super easy to turn on and off, and to cycle through the 11 modes. It charges via USB, and its cord connects via easy-to-use magnets.
If you suspect that I said that because other USB-charged toys have been not-so-easy-to-use, ding ding ding! You are correct. Cleanup, also, is very easy: The silicone cap is removable and can be washed with regular soap and water, or with any toy cleaner that is safe to use on silicone.
Satisfyer Pro 2 delivers a very specific experience; basically, it’s designed to stimulate the clit and nothing else, although you can certainly explore other areas with it. It is not, however, an insertable toy and should only be used externally.
While it’s not an especially versatile toy, and doesn’t strike me as a great candidate for couples play, it is very, very good at what it does. Basically, if oral sex is the way you like to get off, Satisfyer Pro 2 will make you very, very happy.
Once again, I assembled The Test Vaginas (The T.V.s) to help bring you this review—except I accidentally only gave one of them the Satisfyer Pro 2. Thankfully the one I shunned forgave me and I hope you will too. Fortunately, the lucky T.V. who did get the Satisfyer sample was—and I’m so sorry for this but I’ve made it this far into the review without doing it to you and I’m only so strong—quite satisfied with it. Here’s what she, and I, thought of it.
The Test Vaginas’ names have been changed for privacy reasons.
Teresa: I have Satisfyer feedback! I definitely like this type of sucky toy.
Jolie: Lol “sucky toy” is a terrible and perfect description. For the record, the official description of its mechanism is “Air-Pulse Technology,” and they describe its effect thusly: “Stimulates the clitoris using intense pressure waves without direct contact.”
Teresa: Yup! This does seem like it’s good for beginners because it’s less legwork—the toy just does its thing without you having to do much. Also, there are so many levels of vibration, which also seems good for beginners.
Jolie: Okay can we talk about the vibrations because, WHOA. When I first started testing it [J.K. Note: When a toy comes in, I wash it, label its parts, charge it, and then test out its functionality using my hand to get a literal feel for it] I was like, “Hmm this is very gentle, I’m gonna have to really crank it up to get it to do something for me.” But when I started using it not on my hand I was like, “Oh wow no, nope, no cranking up necessary!”
Teresa: This one is bigger than some of the other ones, too, which makes using the controls a lot easier. But it’s kind of heavy/big/bulky.
It’s, like, SO heavy!
Jolie: I never thought I’d see the day when you’re complaining about size! I didn’t find the weight off-putting, but yeah, it’s definitely on the weightier side because of, I assume, the metal handle.
Teresa: I’m assuming the battery life is also longer than most toys because it’s heavier.
Jolie: I couldn’t find information about the charge time (it’s motorized, not battery operated) but other reviewers have noted that it has a very long run time, so yup, I bet you’re right.
Teresa: The weight issue also makes me think this isn’t really a partner-play toy.
Jolie: Agreed! I definitely see this as a solo use-only jobbie. Which is good because I would feel bad if my partners saw how incapacitated I was from the orgasms this guy gave me, I’d be worried it would hurt their ego. Like, I couldn’t feel my legs!
Disclaimer: Bellesa provided sample units for this review. Under normal circumstances, these would be returned. For obvious reasons, Bellesa probably won’t want these ones back, but this did not factor into the content of this review.