Nerf N-Strike Mega Mastodon | $49 | Amazon
The product page for this calls it a Nerf N-Strike Mega Mega Mastodon, and I’m pretty sure that second Mega is a mistake, but I prefer it, so let’s just pretend that’s actually what it’s called. Anyway, I don’t need to tell you this thing is awesome. You’ve already clicked through on your way to buy it. You see the picture, after all—look at that ammo drum! Look at that top handle! Look at his maniacal glee! You only have to look at it for a second to know that this thing thumps, by which I mean to say it will thump people on the forehead when you shoot at them from, I don’t know, probably a mile away, I mean look at that thing!