Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you. Read more
Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you. Read more
Much to the chagrin of haters everywhere—whom I fully expect will cry themselves to sleep upon hearing this—Jalopnik…
As we head into the first true summer weekend, please take a moment to decide whether one of these ladies might…
Lives don’t actually have coherent, linear story arcs, but if I had to retroactively tease one essential narrative…
It's a fabrication about majors. It was a pun, dummy. Read more
I’m about to show you a video that is only seven seconds long, and yet you will see so much. You will see a…
This is part of an occasional series of slightly belated MLB season previews.
I can die happy, with a shit-free car. Read more
Red Sox slugger David Ortiz will be receiving gifts from MLB teams for his farewell season—the funniest outcome…
There was only one time I wanted to cry after yoga. It wasn’t because I hurt myself, it was because I couldn’t do a…
Vicki Gunvalson got nailed in the head by a football during the fourth season of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Orange…
On April 1, in the Year of Our Lord 2016, a man finally achieved adequacy. We gave him a trophy, and…
I have a lot of respect for people’s sexual preferences and mostly think they’re not to be questioned so long as…
Look, I know we picked the new uniforms already. But I’ve been giving the matter a lot of thought for the last…
The Jezebel staff is very excited to join you all today, which is a great day for sports—all sports. We love sports!
I think this line—which somehow traverses its way from the inefficiencies of a fashion magazine to the societal construct of, um, human civilization—was when I realized these were the writings of a motherfucking crazyperson. Read more
Mostly this question should be can we get Bakes back? Read more
I’m dying laughing at the his right now. My first thought was “WTF would Jolie say?” Read more
This isn’t to say that it’s not okay to enjoy some of this stuff. (Who hasn’t painted their nails team colors?) The problem is that this is almost exclusively the only version of womanhood offered—sexed up, dumbed down, and focused on supporting your man, with no room to be any other way.
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