I started smoking in high school. Yeah, take that adults. Anyway, by using my seventeen year old brain, I assumed that a couple quick sprays of cologne would eliminate any trace of the 2 or 3 Camels I had on the drive to school, girlfriend’s house, returning to my house, etc... So the smart thing to do is always have… Read more

On my first deployment, we stopped (as we pretty much always do) at Shannon Airport, where there is this tiny, restricted area for american citizens flying through. It has a tiny coffee bar, and a LARGE gift shop, for your unique irish crystal, chocolate and Guinness gifts. It was made pretty clear that no one would… Read more

Shampoo. Herbal Essences. Mu luggage smelled like a women’s restroom for the duration of my trip. Read more

A bottle of Bloody Mary mix I brought back from Portland -> Philadelphia.

Just wheeling the thing through the airport, leaving a trail of coagulated red liquid wherever I went.

Body in my suitcase? Of course not. Whatever gives you that ide...oh. Read more

A girlfriend had two jars of salsa shatter in her suitcase. We’re no longer together.
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My wife (then girlfriend) brought back a gallon jug of maple syrup from Vermont. About half of the syrup was left in the bottle when she opened the suitcase. Read more

“Umm, Ms. Kerr, did you recently publish an article about exploding suitcases? You’ll have to come with me.” Read more

Bottle of Absinthe from Germany blew in a suitcase once, ... had to throw it all out.. fucking Anise Read more

Because I am an enormous nerd, I played the trumpet all through high school and college. On one trip to play Virgin Fest 2007 or whatever, we traveled up from sea level to around 7,000 feet. My valve oil containers, all apparently made of the cheapest plastic available, burst all over everything in my case, which was… Read more

I was 19. I had just spent the summer abroad. I bought as much alcohol in the Dublin Airport Duty Free shop as I could fit in my bags. I had 2 handles of Irish whiskey shatter in my bags. My bag smelled like a distillery for years after. Read more

It’s been eight years and we’ve got two beautiful sons now. I love this woman so so much.

Perhaps the same analysis that applied to old issues of The New Yorker should apply to this suitcase. Throw it away. Read more

Look for a product called Scenturion from Buckeye International if you can find it. I swilled this stuff in nursing homes for a few months and it works wonders.
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I have two orange tabbies, important to note only because for some reason orange tabbies are prone to developing crystals in their urine. This makes them feel bad and when they feel bad in that way, they pee in every godforsaken place except the litter box so I’ve had some experience with this. After cleaning it as… Read more

I never had any luck with Nature’s Miracle products, but you know what definitely worked like a damn champion when we had a cat pee in a suitcase? Oxy Clean+hose+sunlight. I literally watched a three-month old brown stair turn back into clean-smelling grey suitcase in less time than it would’ve taken me to get mad at… Read more

Step one: Punt cat out an open window Read more

We use Super Concentrated Odor Eliminator. (SCOE 10X). It works by breaking down the salt crystals in the urine. It's on the web but I ain't No paid endorser. It works pretty well though. Read more

As always, spot on. I’ve had good results getting cat-pee smell out with Resolve carpet cleaner, including once on the outside of a small roller-bag suitcase. Read more

My cat did the same thing to my hockey bag. Being that the urine was on hockey equipment, I didn’t notice the smell of cat urine until my first shift of the game. Read more