Commerce Content is independent of Editorial and Advertising, and if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale. Click here for more.
Illustration for article titled Love Yourself Enough to Finally Buy the Label Maker
Image: Erol Ahmed (Unsplash)
SqualorJolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her.

Secretly, you’ve always wanted to buy the label maker. But you never bought the label maker. Maybe you figured you didn’t really need it, it would be one of those purchases — like that homebrew kit and macrame loom, remember those? — that you made with so much hope for an imagined future that you never actually used, that sat there in your home staring at you accusingly. “Use me. Uuuuuuse meeeee.”

Advertisement

Or maybe you figured, “Why buy a label maker when I can make labels using markers and that roll of masking tape that just showed up here, seriously, who bought the masking tape?”

Possibly, though, you never thought the label maker life was for you. “Label makers? Those are for uptight, overly compulsive people, not for me! I am a free spirit!! I REJECT LABELS!!!”

And then you started washing your hands a hundred times a day and Lysol-ing your doorknobs and right, ONE OF US! ONE OF US! Welcome, we have name tags. (We made them with our label maker.)

Advertisement

In all seriousness, label makers are wonderful little things to have and as soon as you buy one you must promise me you will open it up, plug it in or fill it up with batteries or USB charge it and make your very first label. Here’s what it will say: LABEL MAKER. Then you’ll affix it to your label maker and laugh and laugh and laugh.

After that, you’ll use your label maker in all kinds of useful ways because the process of taking the label maker out of the box and making that first LABEL MAKER label is kind of a trick I have to make sure you don’t let it collect dust in the garage with the homebrew kit and the macrame loom.

Here are some things you might label with your label maker:

  • Spices
  • Pantry storage containers
  • Plant and garden markers
  • Food in freezer
  • Leftovers in fridge
  • Jars of dressings and marinades
  • Chargers and cords
  • Files
  • Storage boxes
  • Shelves, to help keep other members of the household organized (“dishes go here”)

You can also use a label maker to get crafty, if that’s your thing. Some ideas:

  • DIY magnets
  • Cheese flags
  • Gift tags
  • Greeting cards
  • Label DIY bath salts and etc.

What are the initiated among you using your label makers for? Tell us in the comments please! (One of you has labeled the cat and I want you to know I love you, you complete loon.)

Advertisement

For the uninitiated who are like, “Well yes, I do in fact love myself to buy the label maker!” here are some recommendations for you to send you off on your merry label-making way.

A Solid, Mid-Price Label Maker

Advertisement

A Solid, Mid-Price Label Maker, But Make It a Handheld

Advertisement

A Smartphone Compatible Label Maker

Advertisement

A Cute Lil Portable Guy

Advertisement

A Stripped-Down, Super Basic, Totally Cheap Option

Advertisement

A Souped Up Label Maker with All the Bells and Whistles

Advertisement

Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert, advice columnist and the host of the podcast Ask a Clean Person

Share This Story

Get our newsletter