It’s my birthday, I’ll shitpost if I want to. That’s right, I’m the MFing 4/20 baby and we’ve managed to survive an hour past the most epic 4:20 on 4/20/2020 of our lives. In the event that for some reason makes us hungry for savory junk food and/or sweets, somebody needs to make a snack run, and I’m the trash grub mercenary in your time of dire need.
Many of these recommendations come from Amazon Fresh which, in case you didn’t know, is now included when you sign up for Prime. Try it free for 30 days and let us know what you think AFTER you’ve tried some delicious guilty pleasures under the right conditions.
So let’s talk snacks, shall we?
Chicken Nuggets, Tenders, Bites, and Their Various Sauces
Everybody loves nuggies. The right combination of juicy, crispy, and literally just a vessel for sauce, they’re the perfect snack to eat today, no matter the brand or type. You may see them called “boneless wings” by some armchair experts, but I assure you they’re all nuggets when you’re jazzed out of your mind. I’m inclined to rec spicy nuggets, if you can find them. Online, I could not.
Screamin’ Sicilian Pizza
Sure, have your takes on everything else. Screamin’ Sicilian is the best frozen pizza hands down and I’ll die on this hill. Name one other pizza that comes with a suave mustache in the box. I’ll wait. Name one other pie whose toppings are broken down into names like Mother of Meat, Bessie’s Revenge, and Holy Pepperoni. Again, I’ll wait. And I’ll be waiting a long time because the rest suck.
Japanese Fruit Gummies
Now for the healthy stuff! FRUIT GUMMIES. (It says fruit, right there, in the name.) As you can tell, I’ve already ripped through the packaging and started chewing on mine. They’re kind of like Swedish Fish, only they don’t taste like LEGO bricks with a hint of cough syrup. You can find ‘em in a wide range of flavors too. My personal favorite? Melon, of course!
When in doubt, always pick melon.