Thanks for sharing this deeply unfunny internal memo. Read more

this is some good kinja right here, boy Read more

If I wanted to live in the future I would invest in a time machine and just go there! Read more

...what. Read more

I didn't watch Kings-Ducks last night, but from all accounts it was a wild one. Any Western Conference fans want to share what the rest of us missed? (This is absolutely the equivalent of a hungover teacher having students read their homework aloud instead of teaching.)

I know this is against the common conceptions of what makes a good marriage, but going to bed angry is sort of great. Because so often I get angry at the dumbest stuff, and so worked up, and then I sleep and by the morning I've completely forgotten why the hell I was so upset. I mean, it doesn't work for every… Read more

I've been married for thirty-six years. Read more

My parents' rules? Read more

Marriage is not two halves making one. Marriage is two wholes overlapping. Read more

"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
Whenever you're right, shut up." Read more

Do what she says when you can. Keep LOTS of secrets, I mean prepare to kill to keep em hid. Read more

My wife and I say that our marriage works because we each maintain a low level of contempt for each other. What we mean is that we're realistic that neither of us is perfect and that we each have opinions or habits that the other finds ridiculous. We also realize that we love each other in spite of and because of… Read more

Have your own friends and go out separately every once in awhile. Don't talk about hockey together. Shut your mouth when he talks about hockey. Say thank you and tell him when he looks hot in nice clothes because even though he threw out some of his old t-shirts, the Rob Zombie one is still around and he would notice… Read more

Ear plugs. Read more

Get a good mattress that both of you can sleep on comfortably. Read more

Pish posh. It was a perfectly fine pun. Read more