my mom used to work at a gift shop, and she was always buying me stupid cutesy dish gloves, or fancy soaps that stink, or elaborately decorated ice cream scoops. For my 21st birthday I was gifted a celadon vacuum cleaner. Read more

ingrown hair extraction. Read more

All joking aside, scratching my ass crack (thru my undies - just in case). Read more

Plucking nose hairs. Read more

Because there is not enough bleach in the world for the filth you find there? Read more

You left off "getting out of your chair, seeing a cracker that has been sitting directly under your nethers, and thinking, 'hey free cracker!'" Read more

That vacuum cleaner is going to murder you in your sleep and no one will ever know because it'll suck the blood right up. Read more

Old shoes work as well. Read more

Have you tried wiping off the offending black detail on the hedgehogs with a bit of nail polish remover and a cotton ball? (Test in an inconspicuous area first.) Read more

You have to know this already, but: tennis balls for the comforter. No question. Read more

You're both... just terrible.

Women, am I right? Read more

Worse than the "thank you" thing for me is when you find yourself in one of those double-door situations and you have the one held open and the person blows by you and uses the other one. "Oh, you got it, great, just checking, dickhead." Read more

You'll have to invite Jolie to the orgy, of course; she'll know how. Read more

In a way I feel they are targeting us, although they may not know it. The irreverent approach to sport that Deadspin's had since the early days is sort of a natural fit for I (and many women I know) view sports. We're outsiders, we're bemused by macho posturing, we appreciate ESPN's sexual harassment being called out.… Read more

Darren Rovell's job description without Darren Rovell being anywhere near the damn thing. Read more

Oh, I've been there before! I'm mostly just giving Al shit... Also, listen to MPP from last night if you haven't already. It's a great show! Read more

I think in terms of breadth of coverage, SBNation's model is currently the most successful. Sub-blogs devoted to the tribalism of specific teams certainly cuts away a lot of the vitriol found on, um, other sports sites with more general appeal. Read more

No snark: Craggs should write more. I miss his stuff. Read more