Mace Pepper Spray | $11 | Amazon
While this product is marketed toward women, there’s no good reason anyone can’t pick up a vial of pepper spray. It’s non-lethal protection against humanity’s shortcomings, and it’s only $11 to buy a Mace key chain holding up to 20 burst shots of the peppery substance. The spray reaches up to 12 feet, too, which should be ample room to send your assailant to the floor crying like a baby.