I’ve loved gnomes ever since my mom put one in her garden when I was 5. I used to come home and say hello to him every day after school. But now, I live in a 3rd-floor apartment and have no garden for my gnomes to live in. Even though I have no places for gnomes in my home, I still appreciate their beauty and ugliness.

And since Friday means it is time to look at wacky shit you can buy on Amazon, today I will show you some of the gnomes I would buy in a heartbeat. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Gnome Solar Garden Light

Gnome Solar Garden Light
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

Let’s start this list out with a pure, little gnome to light up your garden. His yellow hat makes me very happy.


Loonie Moonie Bare Buttocks Garden Gnome

If you don’t have a gnome showing off his butt in your collection, you don’t know gnome culture.


Funny Garden Gnomes Outdoor Hanging Statue

This hanging gnome is a mood.


Garden Gnomes Statues

Garden Gnomes Statues
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

Okay, we’re already back to cute gnomes. Look at their little faces. Who wouldn’t be happy seeing these buddies in their garden?


Gnometastic Double Bird Garden Gnome

Gnometastic Double Bird Garden Gnome
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

If you want to send someone a pretty clear message, you can do with this double bird gnome. I wonder if the mean squirrel at my mom’s house would understand.


Funny Mugs Combat Gnome Statue

Funny Mugs Combat Gnome Statue
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

This gnome isn’t a representation of my stance on guns. It just looks like that Michelle Tanner meme AND reminds me of that scene from The Office (a reenactment would require you to buy three).


Mischievous Cat Garden Gnome Figurine

Mischievous Cat Garden Gnome Figurine
Graphic: Ana Luisa Suarez

This combines my love of cats and my love of gnomes. Plus, it’s very on brand for how cats would react if gnomes were real.